The Quest Begins

Part The First


Book One: The Attack of Kaili Wu

Sing for me, O sacred historical muse,
Of the great Captain, so unjustly used.
Charged by the goddess of truth and wisdom,
To quest upon the great aquatic kingdom.

Sing for me, Calliope, from your tablet of wax;
Don for me, Melpomene, your dark and tragic mask;
For what began as a simple quest for home,
Has become the subject of this epic tome...


O my friends, how can I even begin to tell you the tale of woe that has befallen your beloved Captain? For in this short year I have suffered all that a man can suffer: scorned by a lover, nearly murdered by a friend, prevented from returning home by the most terrifying beast of the sea, my ship destroyed and my crew devastated, nearly drowned, forced to sacrifice my free will by the most powerful of the goddesses, fought an army of the undead, matched wits with the Sphinx, stole the lyre from Orpheus' sleeping hand, and escaped from Nullus Subterlabor, the island of no return.

Perhaps to help you wrap your feeble minds around the magnitude of all that has befallen me, I shall begin where we last left off...





Corsica was as beautiful as any place on earth in the summer. Leelanda and I basked in the radiant rays of the Mediterranean sun and in the passionate glow of our erotic love. We left the bustle of Port De Bonifacio and moved into a bungalow in the lush hills of Sartene. We lived happily for what seemed like an eternity, but one night it all came crashing down at the hands of a man I once called friend.

It happened sometime in August, after a long day of decadent leisure (and an even longer night of decadent drinking), as I lay resting atop the white cotton sheets of our bed. The night air on this fateful eve was thick with heat, and even the quiet breeze billowing through the curtained windows was not enough to move the stifling air. As I lay dozing somewhere between waking and sleep, I felt a presence in the room that turned my hot sweat cold. I propped myself up with one arm and gazed sleepily into the shadows, and yet I saw nothing. Knowing from years of experience to always trust my instincts, I lay back down and feigned sleep while slowly sliding my hand around the polished wooden handle of the flintlock pistol stashed beneath my pillow. Awareness of the room's silence was deafening as I extended my senses out in search of the slightest tremor. Suddenly, from a dark corner of the room, I heard a quick movement and in response I shot up and fired my pistol into the dark. In the brief second of light caused by the flash of the powder igniting, I saw something that bled my flushed skin to pallor: Kaili Wu, the world's deadliest assassin.

I knew instantly that my shot had missed him, so I lept from the bed and lunged toward my shamshir. I heard the first of his throwing stars hit the pillow where my head had been, and knew that I had only a second at most before the next was in the air. I grasped the jeweled handle of Xerxes' heirloom and spun around, sending the sheath sailing towards where I thought Kaili might be. I must have been close because I could hear the ping as his second star deflected off of the sword's golden sheath and I heard the thud as it embedded itself in the wall beside my left ear.

There are some things you should know about Kaili Wu before I can continue with this story. The first is that Kaili Wu only carries five throwing stars with him, because Kaili Wu only needs five throwing stars. He is the single greatest sword fighter I've ever seen, he excels at hand-to-hand combat and psychological warfare, his agility is unmatched, and he is probably the coldest killer you'll ever meet. I mean that literally, for if you meet him, he will be the last you ever meet. The second, and perhaps most significant, is a story that I have kept from you my faithful readers. In my profile to the right of these words I mention a certain island where I was once stranded. Well, perhaps "stranded" is a bit of a misnomer, for you see, my friends, I was not alone. There were four men and a monkey on that island. One was me; one was Captain Kidd; and one, naturally, was Kaili Wu. I have no interest in reliving the terrible tale of that island, but I will say this: it was only through the friendship of Kaili Wu that I made it off of that dreadful isle.

Now here he is before me, stepping out of the shadows into the light from the pale moon that was filtering through the wisping curtains, with three deadly stars left; one of which had my name inscribed upon it's jagged, jeweled teeth. I knew my only chance was in getting to that window and out of the room. A difficult prospect, with a ninja standing between me and that uncertain freedom. There was no way I could reach the door in time and calling for help would only get someone else killed too. No, I definitely had to get to that window. Kaili Wu has only one weakness, and I am one of three living people who know it. How I managed to get to the window sounded a little something like this:

"To what do I owe this honour?" I asked with feigned confidence. "It has been a long time."

"It has indeed been too long, but, you are mistaken, Jonas. I believe this honour will be all mine, for it is not everyday that one can say that they have killed the infamous Captain Lovejones. Sorry, that was incorrect, for I'll be able to say that everyday after today. What I meant to say is that it is not everyday that one gets to kill you. Nonetheless, I thank you for the flattery. How are you Jonas?"

"I'm okay. I haven't been sleeping well."

"Really? That's a shame. Why would that be?"

"This heat makes comfortability an issue. Maybe I just miss the cool breeze of the night sea, but it seems to me that this heat is intolerable for man. Then again, others has his own opinion."

"Oh Jonas, I see you still have no idea as to the necessity of pronoun agreement. It would have been far better to say something such as: we all have our own opinions."

"Why is that?"

"Well, first of all, you used a definite pronoun, "his", in the singular to refer to the indefinite pronoun, "everybody", which is singular. You see, pronouns should agree with their antecedents in order for the the sentence to make sense. Aside from the fact that you used gendered language, which is boorish in this age of enlightenment, you confused the number-"

"What's an antecedent?"

"Well, look here and I'll show you."

With that he sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled out his copy of The Wordsworth Book of Usage and Abusage, and I took a header out the window.
I hit the grass with a thud, and as my eyes refocused after the impact I could see another throwing star embedded in the grass mere centimetres from my nose. I pushed myself up from my prone position and ran towards the stables, whistling wildly for Alsvid. The horse, seeming to feel my urgency, stepped from the stable and began pawing the ground in expectation. As I neared I shouted for Sol, the night-time stable hand, to bring my bow and arrow. As I cast my leg astride Alsvid's muscled back, I took a quick glance back towards the house. I could see nothing, and what had been panic instantly turned to terror.

"Here you go, Jonas" Sol said softly as she handed me the bow and quiver with a golden smile. I leaned down and quickly kissed his cheek farewell. When I pulled up, the young man collapsed to the ground; a star shimmering from the back of his skull. I spun Alsvid around and whispered "tölt" hoarsely into her ear. Needing no other encouragement, she broke into a full gallop.

I'm not sure how much you know about Icelandic horses, but let me tell you why they're special. Aside from the aesthetic value provided by their flowing manes and tails, which is a must for an esthete such as myself, the Icelandic horse has 1,000 years of phenomenal breeding that provides each horse with a smooth gait, nimbleness over any terrain, and a legendary disposition. Unlike the bone-jarring gallop of your common horses, the Icelandic has a smooth rolling gait that is as soft and comfortable as an evening by the fire with a twenty-year old Brazilian. The Icelandic is the Rolls Royce of horses, my friends; and when I heard the high whine of a Japanese street bike break through the thick night air behind me, I was pretty happy that I had one.

I tried to stay off of the roads as much as I could, hoping that the lush terrain would slow down his bike enough that I could stay ahead of him. He stuck mainly to the winding roads, but sometimes leapt off onto the fields I was racing across (and getting a little too close for comfort). Downward towards the coast we raced, and I knew that I had to keep him on the defensive. Having turned myself in the saddle, I began firing arrows towards his headlight. I knew he was in no danger of being hit, but Alsvid's flying gait allowed me enough stability to keep the arrows close. As he weaved his bike around whizzing arrows, he slowed enough for me to stay ahead. Then, at last, I could see the lights of Ajaccio rise before me, and the cool, ink black waters of the Mediterranean spreading out beyond them into the night.

I reached a large sloping field that ran alongside the road. The cobblestone road wound its way around the field, finally intersecting the point at the bottom of the hill where the field gave way to the outskirts of Ajaccio. I leaned over and yelled "Tölt! Tölt!" to Alsvid. Recognizing the urgency in my voice, that beautiful animal responded with everything that she had. I could hear the engine of Kaili's Suzuki Hayabusa scream louder in response. As Alsvid and I raced across the field toward the intersection, I watched in horror as Kaili gained ground on us as he raced his bike at full speed around the enveloping road. His small headlight illuminated his position to our left just enough that I could see that he was going to hit reach the intersection at the same time that we would have to cross the road. I reached back in my quiver and pulled out my last arrow. Drawing back the bow, and taking a deep breath, I tried to stready myself enough to get a reasonable shot. I emptied half of my lungs, paused, then let loose my arrow into a night sky screaming with the echoes of hoofbeats and engines.

Nothing. Not a damn thing. His bike didn't hesitate or waiver from its course in any way; he just kept coming. We had neared the bottom of the hill, so Kaili was essentially driving right at us. I looked up to the starry sky, swore my fealty to Pallas Athena, cast aside the bow, drew my sword from its saddle sheath, and held my breath as we sped towards the street.

As I had guessed, Kaili Wu arrived at the intersect point at the same time as Alsvid and I. Although his headlight blinding, I could see that he only had one hand on the handles; the other was holding a kitana blade low and ready to strike. As Alsvid leapt across the street, I turned in the saddle and swung my shamshir high over my head and down towards him.

There was a bright flash as our blades struck together. Alsvid had cleared the road and Kaili was aiming to chop me in half from behind as he passed. Having deflected his slice, I watched as his bike raced onward; the scream of his engines growing quiet. I let out a sigh of relief, but I knew this wasn't over yet. The road he was racing down lead right back to the docks, and to the Mithridates.

As I raced through cobblestone streets filled with curious onlookers, my thoughts began to turn to Leelanda. Surely if Kaili had discovered my location, he would also have discovered who I had been living with. I raced through the gates to the port, Alsvid's hooves echoing loudly upon the stoney ground, until I caught sight of Swabby and Sol talking to the harbour master. I reared Alsvid to a halt, dismounted, and handed the reins over to Sol with a nod. I grabbed Swabby and ordered him to get the ship ready and set sail immediately. I warned him to perform a full sweep of the ship, though I didn't tell him who to look for. To say the name of Kaili Wu is to have your crew abandon you.

With Swabby off and preparing the ship and crew, I ran back to Sol and lept into Alsvid's saddle. She looked up at me and whispered worrily, "Jonas, my brother's journey is almost complete. Soon Skoll will wake from his slumber and begin his chase." I nodded in understanding and spun Alsvid around. With a mad dash we raced along the harbourfront, towards the Cock O' the Walk, and a terrible destiny.

When we reached the front of the tavern, I didn't even wait for Alsvid to come to a halt before I lept off of her. I threw open the door and began scanned the room breathlessly for a glimpse of Leelanda. What I saw, my friends, ran my ardent heart to ice.

O cruel, pernicious Fate! There she was, my lady love, Leelanda Erenca, in the arms of the fourth man from that fateful island, the Baron Bartholomew Rackham! I staggered backwards towards the door as I watched the two laughing and carousing about. Suddenly it became quite clear how Kaili Wu had managed to find me...he didn't have to search at all.

I backed out of the tavern before either of them saw me, pushing my way through a swarm of rum-soaked sailors. I stepped through the doors and into the night air, which had suddenly lost all of its former heat. I collapsed against the tavern wall as emotion began to overwhelm me. I won't pretend that I have ever been fully satisfied with my life, for a man whose goal it is to be morally good and to live a gentleman's life can never be truly satisfied, but I will admit that I was beginning to grow pretty happy with that girl. If there was one thing my life had been lacking for sometime, its the deep bond that can only exist between an individual and one he or she is deeply connected to. I had begun to take down my walls and to actually allow somebody to come in; only to have that person turn around and betray my affection by telling a ninja where I was sleeping.

I was snatched from my melancholy by the gutteral growl of a motorbike engine. I peered around the corner of the tavern and saw Kaili's bike slowly rolling through the streets in search of me. I ducked down behind the railing as he rolled by; his black, visored helmet hiding piercing eyes scanning from side to side as he passed. When he had turned the next corner, I lept up from my spot and, jumping over the railing, and ran at full speed towards Alsvid. I lept onto her back just as I heard the sound of Kaili's engine scream with speed and the cold light of his headlight spread over me light a cold winter wind.

Alsvid and I raced down the narrow road towards the gate of the port. The whine of Kaili's engine filled the alleyway, pulling the run-down buildings clausterphobically together. As the buildings gave way to the wide expanse of the docks, I screamed for the gatekeeper to open the now closed gates. The man stepped sleepily from his booth and began to wave me off.

"The gate's closed," he yelled. "Someone's gone and put gum in the locks."

Alsvid veered to the right and began to run alongside the fence towards the other gate. To my right I could see flashes of Kaili as he appeared between the gaps in the houses that were separating the grassy knoll we were on from the parallel street that he was racing down. To my left I could see the Mithridates as it made its way slowly through the channel towards the open sea.

Not stopping to even bother with the next gate, I urged Alsvid onto the narrow peninsula that fingered out into the sea. I heard Kaili's bike turn off of the road onto the grass behind us, but I didn't bother to look back. I held as tight as I could to Alsvid's reins as she pounded her hooves across the soft ground. We were parallel to the Mithridates now, and I could see Swabby and the men watching our race from her deck. The end of the peninsula was coming closer - thirty yards, now twenty-five yards - and I could hear Kaili's engine gaining on us from behind - fifteen yards back, now ten yards back.

I leaned over and whispered a farewell to Alsvid, and pulled myself up until I was standing in the saddle, crouched low for balance and to avoid the last star that would be coming my way soon. Suddenly the precipice was before me and Alsvid and I were floating down through the air to the dark sea below. I hit the water with a crash that becam muted as the water's silence enveloped me. I kicked as hard as I could with my legs towards the swath the Mithridates' hull was cutting through the sea's surface.

I broke the surface with a deep gasp and with four deep strokes I had reached the Mithridates' wooden hull. Swabby threw a rope ladder over the side and, catching hold of one of the lower rungs, I hauled myself out of the water. I quickly scaled up the ladder, finally grabbing hold of the deck's railing. I could feel a sudden dearing pain in my hand, and when I pulled myself up I saw kaili's last throwing star; firmly embedded in my hand.

I looked back towards the shore as I swung my legs over the railing, and saw a solitary Kaili Wu standing next to his bike, his helmet cradled at his side by his left arm. He watched as we sailed out of the port and back out to sea, then put his helmet back on and kicked his leg over the bike's seat. Swabby moved in next to me and followed my stare.

"There is a legend about a man,
Who deals out death from a distant land."

"Yes, I know it well," I replied, clasping my broken hand.

"They say he weilds a most deadly knife,
Which means you're lucky to have your life."

"No. I'm not lucky. Luck had nothing to do with it." I turned my face back to the shrinking island of Corsica, as the hills of Sartene coldly floated by. "His heart wasn't in it."

And as Sol and Alsvid fled across the sky from that never-tiring wolf, bringing light to all below as they flee, I was struck by a loneliness I had never experienced before. Watching the sun rise over Corsica with a cold wind flapping against my still wet clothing made me sure that I couldn't feel any lonelier than I did at that moment.

I was about to be proved very, very wrong.